Thursday: Links with nepotism

Story of the day:

Hawkins promises championship, metaphors at CU [Rocky Mtn News]

Former BSU coach (and current OBNUG Public Enemy #1) Dan Hawkins was back to his old Zen-like ways during a speech in Denver on Wednesday, but amidst a shower of metaphors, similes, idioms, and analogies, he dropped this burden on the CU football program:

"Our goal is to win a national championship at Colorado," Hawkins said, veering into his booster speech. "They laugh at that now, but you won't be laughing because we'll do it, at some point. I promise you that."

We'll believe it when we see it.

The best part of Hawkins speech, however, was not the blathering prediction. Great expectations were only a lead-in to a bevy of classic Hawkinisms. Enjoy.

"Sometimes you've got to be a potter. You've got your hands on the clay, softly, gently molding. And then other times you've got to be a blacksmith and put 'em in the fire and heat 'em up and pound on 'em."

...and...

"It takes all the people in this room, that we all support each other in this thing. As Nelson Mandela says, it's about ubuntu, that we're all in this together."

...and...

'The gutter always recruits. The gutter always needs reinforcements.'

...and...

"We have a saying: There's two types of class, there's first and there's no

...and one more...

"I always tell our guys that excellence is doing a common thing in an uncommon way, and I didn't make that up."

He ended the speech with, "Go play intramurals, brother."

Other links:

Akey responds to NCAA sanctions [Idaho Statesman]
His response: "We have to worry about academics, too?! We haven't even figured out this football thing yet!"

Will Boise State crash the BCS again? [Red Zone Report]
More importantly, are you really crashing the BCS if you're invited?

One man's BSU bowl prediction [NCAAbbs]
The Humanitarian Bowl? Versus Maryland? Great, now we're depressed.

Hawkins' eventful spring game

At least the Colorado spring game wasn't boring.

The good news is that Ralphie jumped from No. 5 to No. 3 on the running back depth chart.

Buffaloes' head coach Dan Hawkins, who was recently crowned OBNUG's Public Enemy #1, called Ralphie's escape the "highlight of the day." It probably reminded him of the manner in which he ditched the BSU football program--cunningly, quickly, and motivated by all the green in front of him.

Colorado mascot escapes from handlers [Yardbarker.com]

Public Enemy #1: The winner revealed

The day of reckoning has arrived for the six candidates in OBNUG's Public Enemy #1 competition. We've heard the cases for each nominee over the past several weeks, and we are prepared to crown a champion for this website's most hated villain.

Over the weekend, we narrowed the field down to two. Hal Mumme and Robb Akey were pardoned due to their being relatively harmless. Sean Renfree was excused due to age and ignorance. And Colin Kaepernick received a pass until next year, when he may be more dangerous.

The final candidates left standing were Dan Hawkins and Mike Prater, and each provided an interesting case for hatred. Hawkins has a history of greed and backstabbing, and Prater has a history of pompousness and loving the Vandals. Choosing between the two was not an easy task, which is probably why we dragged this on for so long. But after much hand-wringing and debate, we came to a decision.

The winner of the first annual OBNUG Public Enemy #1 is...

Dan Hawkins

Hawkins wins on account of the sins of his past. We wanted Public Enemy #1 to be someone we truly despise for his connection to the BSU program, and Hawkins' spurning of Bronco Nation cut deep enough to earn him our distaste years later. When he left for greener (richer) pastures, he betrayed our trust in ways we never imagined. Sure, the Broncos are better off without him, but no one back-stabs BSU and gets away with it.

Enjoy your year of ridicule, Hawkins. We sure will.

OBNUG Roundtable: Public Enemy #1

Public Enemy #1 has been a raging, ribald debate at OBNUG. The distinction of being the most hated villain for our website is not to be taken lightly, which has made the decision all the more difficult. Whoever wins will receive our scorn for the next 365 days, so we want to get it right.

Recently, a few of OBNUG's finest discussed the candidacy of our Public Enemy nominees. Here is that conversation:

kevanlee: Dan Hawkins, Sean Renfree, Colin Kaepernick, Robb Akey, Mike Prater, and Hal Mumme. Just seeing this list makes me rather upset. As a Boise State fan, these six people are some of the most despicable I have ever seen. A liar, a loser, a fink, a slanderer, a traitor, and a blowhard. What a group.

Picking just one will be a hard task, but at least we can't go wrong with any of these guys. The interesting thing is that each one of these candidates stands as a different burr to Bronco Nation. Some are threatening and some are annoying.

I'm leaning toward Kaepernick, Akey, and Hawkins. Kaepernick has the potential to absolutely ruin the lives of BSU fans this season, and he seems to have a hidden agenda to take down the Broncos. Akey is Idaho's coach, and he grows more and more intolerable every day. And I have a personal vendetta against "Hawk" for the way he left BSU.

Which crime is worse? Being a life-ruiner, being a cad, or being a Judas?

Nick: It's really too bad we are having this discussion this year instead of last. I mean, Kaepernick, Mumme, and Akey really all pale in comparison to the douchebaggery last year in Hawaii's duo of June Jones and Colt Brennan. For those reasons alone, I'm probably leaning against those three.

I'm also leaning against Hawkins. It's been two full seasons since he left, and although he did so in the lowest of fashions, some of Boise State's greatest moments have happened since then. If he were in the same conference or even succeeding at Colorado, I might find more contempt in my heart for him. Unfortunately, I just don't care enough.

By process of elimination, that leaves Renfree and Prater. I think it's a little premature to vote for Renfree. He hasn't even had a chance to not live up to his potential at Duke.

So that leaves Mr. Prater. The fact that he hired Brian Murphy is more than enough reason for me to dislike the guy. Fortunately, there are many more including the aforementioned debacle that he is on the radio along with his Vandal blood. Could KTIK get a less charismatic personality on the mic? I'd rather listen to a confused Paul J any day over the apathetic and uninspiring Prater.

Kenton Arthur Lee: I think that Dan Hawkins could still be Public Enemy #1, and here's why:

1) He's kind of a freak compared to Peterson. There is a huge contrast there.

2)I don't really like his kid, either. And I hope his kid doesn't succeed down there. He could have been awesome at BSU and then we wouldn't be having this quarterback controversy right now.

3) Not everybody knows the names of people on that list, but every BSU fan remembers Hawkins. I think more people identify with not liking Hawkins.

kevanlee: Maybe we would have been better off nominating the entire Hawkins family.

I agree, Nick. Robb Akey and Colin Kaepernick are very similar to WAC nemeses like June Jones and Colt Brennan. It seems like we will always have someone to hate in our conference, and that is the way it should be. That said, should they be considered less since they are merely iterations of past enemies? I don't think so.

Now to Hawkins and Prater. Hawkins has an interesting case because he has been out of the public scorn of Bronco Nation for a few years now, yet we all seem to still have a total distaste for the guy. That should count for something. Prater's offenses are evident, and he has the opportunity and power to seriously affect how Bronco fans get their news. The main reason I hesitate to support Prater's case is because his indiscretions are harder to quantify. That, and I can't find any good pictures of him.

Sounds like Renfree and Mumme are safe. Let's give Kaepernick a pass on this year's P.E.#1 since he will still be around to hate for a couple more season. That leaves Akey, Prater, and Hawkins.

Nick: In response to Akey, Kaepernick, and Mumme, it's not that they are past iterations of past enemies. It's that they pale in comparison to past iterations. Can you really take Akey seriously with a mustache like that? I feel like we would be giving too much credit to Kaepernick when he's really not done anything else. It's hard for me to hate Mumme too much when I get so much joy from watching him prance around on the sideline imitating a drunk Gary Busey.

I would not be opposed to Prater or Hawkins. I definitely had more hatred in my heart seeing Cody run around in Colorado's backfield and thinking about how he reneged on his verbal commitment to follow Daddy to a guaranteed starting job leaving us into this never-ending cycle of trying to find a starting quarterback. I might be able to get behind that.

kevanlee: Hawkins or Prater, huh? The ghosts of our past or the bane of our present? The case for Hawkins is so completely different than the case for Prater that it is hard to even compare the two. On the one hand, you have a former coach who spurned a loving fanbase. On the other hand, you have a local media personality who roots for the local team's rival. Both are terrible people, but in different ways.

Who will it be? We might need to sleep on this one for a day or two. Keep your fingers crossed, Hawkins and Prater. We'll have our answer on Wednesday.

WIR: Spring ends, Public Enemy nears

Week in Review (WIR) has loads of loathing for all the candidates on OBNUG's Public Enemy #1 list, which has made choosing between the six candidates extremely difficult. Still, debating the villains has provided a good dose of relief for the long, football-less summer ahead. Maybe we'll just drag this thing on until August.

Here is the best from the last week.

• Farewell, spring football.
• Spring grades and awards.
• Augusto gets demoted.
• Hal Mumme, oh how we loathe you.
• New uniforms? We hope not.
• New Nevada blog.
• Public Enemy #1 decision looming.
• OBNUG's newest feature: the Life Coach.
• Richest 41-10 loss ever?
• Politicians are good for something.
• Ticket prices continue to rise.

Have a great weekend, Bronco fans. We'll see you on Monday for some NFL draft talk.

Public Enemy #1: The recap

Over the past few weeks, OBNUG has been on a journey of contempt in search of this website's most hated villain. We narrowed the nominees down to six scoundrels, each of whom would make a perfect nemesis.

Now things get serious.

Next week, we will crown OBNUG's Public Enemy #1, and we would like your help. Please let us know who you think should be the McShay to our Kiper by either leaving us a comment or shooting us an email at OneBroncoNationUnderGod@gmail.com. Help us decide because we really can't be trusted with big decisions.

Here are the candidates:

Dan Hawkins: a backstabbing phony
"The greatest crime that Dan Hawkins committed was his assault on our trust. When he left to coach the Colorado Buffaloes, he did so in a way that forever scarred how a BSU fan will look at the team."

Colin Kaepernick: a skinny-legged Bronco killer
"Sure, we enjoy pointing out his passing flaws and demeaning his achievements on the football field. But as far as we’re concerned, he started this feud with his impartial supernaturalness."

Sean Renfree: an uninformed 18-year-old
"His spurning of the Broncos, in particular, really gets our goat, especially considering his rationale. Renfree based his decision on Duke's impressive academic record, the promise of playing time, and the experience of new head coach David Sutcliffe. We liken this to choosing a Quarter Pounder based on taste, texture, and presentation."

Robb Akey: a jerk with a mustache
"There are plenty of things to dislike about the man: his attitude, his smugness, the fact that his first name has more "b"'s than the Vandals have wins. But when it comes right down to it, Akey is reviled by OBNUG because of that larger-than-life caterpillar taking residence under his nose."

Mike Prater: a belligerent Vandal homer
"He knows full well that defending the Vandals is a crime against Bronco Nation, and his doing so in the city of Boise only magnifies his betrayal."

Hal Mumme: a self-promoting underachiever
"Couple Mumme's lameness with an undeserved air of importance that his towel-toting exudes and, well, you have made a case for Public Enemy #1."

Public Enemy #1: Hal Mumme's case

OBNUG is in the process of deciding who should be this website's most hated villain. We'll be presenting the cases for all of the candidates over the next few weeks. Enjoy.

Hal Mumme

Hal Mumme's case for Public Enemy #1 was written by Drew from the Fight, Fight, BSU blog. Drew's distaste for the New Mexico State head man is powerful, convincing, and well-worded. Enjoy his dissertation.

Whenever a coach "invents" a lame, gimmicky offense and then gives it an even lamer, gimmicky name like "the Pistol", "Wildhawg", or, in Mumme's case "the Air Raid," I automatically think that that coach is...well, lame and gimmicky. But couple that lameness with an undeserved air of importance like the towel-toting Hal Mumme exudes and, well, you have made a case for Public Enemy #1.

Mumme, well-known for running several programs into the ground, believes his own hype that he's some sort of offensive genius, cozies up to other hated head coaches like June Jones, and has the audacity to compare teams that have beaten his teams after the fact. The latter was exactly what Mumme did in '06 after their brutal loss to Hawaii. He said (with nothing to gain) that Hawaii was better than Boise State! Boise State had beaten Hawaii weeks earlier. Then to add insult to insult, Mumme voted for June Jones as WAC coach of the year over eventual NATIONAL coach of the year Chris Petersen.

All these things are enough to make any Bronco fan despise Mumme and glory in the fact that his team was absolutely humiliated by BSU in '07...but Mumme tops it all off by disgustingly wiping his nose constantly on the snot-soaked towel that he drapes across his shoulders and can often be seen running his no-doubt mucous-covered hands through his majestically feathered hair. Mumme, in so doing, achieves the rare double whammy...he offends fan's sensibilities and turns their stomach.

Favorite quote: "Mumme needs bandages" (Marty Tadman's infamous quote after the Broncos drubbed the Aggies on the blue in '07)

For more from Drew, check out his Bronco blog at Fight, Fight, BSU.

Public Enemy #1: Mike Prater's case

OBNUG is in the process of deciding who should be this website's most hated villain. We'll be presenting the cases for all of the candidates over the next few weeks. Enjoy.

Mike Prater

When it comes to the sports editor of Idaho's largest newspaper, some might expect an objective, temperate journalist. Not us. We want the biggest homer around.

Mike Prater, the Statesman's sports editor since 2001, is not that homer. Sure, he does a fine job running the sports section, but he does so with a decidedly non-partisan flair. Where are the op-ed columns from Buster Bronco? Where is the photo collage of Brock Jaramillo? Where is the blue? Where is the orange?

We want someone running the sports section who loves Boise State football as much as we do. Instead, we have a Vandal apologist. And that reason alone is enough for this website to despise him.

We could forgive him for the complete lack of Bronco flair on the sports page. We can even forgive his part in the yukfest that is Caves & Prater. But we simply cannot overlook his unforgivable sin of not hating the Idaho Vandals.

And really, he leaves us no choice. He knows full well that defending the Vandals is a crime against Bronco Nation, and his doing so in the city of Boise only magnifies his betrayal. How far off is the day when Robb Akey and Nathan Enderle take the Broncos off the front page? Not as far as one might think.

Prater's Vandal vivality has dug himself a pretty big hole. He might never be able to repair the damage he has done to his reputation with Bronco fans, but there's no harm in trying.

Want to get off of our bad side, Prater? Vote Boise State #1 in your pre-season AP poll. Want to spend the next year as our Public Enemy #1? Keep right on doing what you're doing.

Public Enemy #1: Robb Akey's case

OBNUG is in the process of deciding who should be this website's most hated villain. We'll be presenting the cases for all of the candidates over the next few weeks. Enjoy.

Robb Akey

Idaho head coach Robb Akey has his hands full turning around a moribund program that might be better off in I-AA. Nevertheless, Akey perseveres with his blind faith, his optimistic spirit, and most importantly, his mustache.

There are plenty of things to dislike about the man: his attitude, his smugness, the fact that his first name has more "b"'s than the Vandals have wins. But when it comes right down to it, Akey is reviled by OBNUG because of that larger-than-life caterpillar taking residence under his nose.

Like a rotund Samwise Gamgee accompanying Akey on his epic quest, the mustache is a willing partner to the coaching travails of Idaho's head man. Through wins and losses (but mostly losses), it rests on his cheeky grin, experiencing the highs and lows like a hairy best friend. And it drives us mad.

It bothers us. It taunts us. And it drives our curiosity. Just what is the deal with that nose beard? We would like some answers.

• What is hiding in that mustache?
  Akey's face rug could very well be used as a safe-deposit box of goodies, like a backpack for the nose. We imagine that Akey keeps the following things hidden in the follicle forest: gameplans, leftover bits of egg salad sandwiches, Nathan Enderle, and a wall calendar of the Palouse.
  
• Does the mustache have special powers?
  To keep such an obvious hygiene malfeasance around, Akey must be aware of some hidden powers to his mustache. Yet these powers obviously have no practical use in the real world, otherwise the Vandals would be a much better team and Akey would have a much better job. We think the mustache's special power is crosswords.
  
• What would happen if the mustache was gone?
  We think that Akey's lip hat is actually holding his face together.
  
• Does the mustache have a free will?
  This question delves into an area that we are not quite prepared to know about. We would prefer to stay with surface issues, like what is the mustache’s name and when is too much Just for Men too much.

Our obligation to detest Akey can be traced back to our obligation to detest all things Vandals.

Our obligation to nominate Akey for OBNUG Public Enemy #1 status? Purely the mustache.

Public Enemy #1: Sean Renfree's case

OBNUG is in the process of deciding who should be this website's most hated villain. We'll be presenting the cases for all of the candidates over the next few weeks. Enjoy.

Sean Renfree

The Duke Blue Devils have won four games over the past four years.

For some reason, Sean Renfree wanted to be a part of that.

The decorated Arizona prep quarterback chose the Blue Devils over a number of other college football teams, including Boise State. His spurning of the Broncos, in particular, really gets our goat, especially considering his rationale. Renfree based his decision on Duke's impressive academic record, the promise of playing time, and the experience of new head coach David Sutcliffe. We liken this to choosing a Quarter Pounder based on taste, texture, and presentation.

• Academics: People do your papers for you when you're a college football star. Just ask Jeremy Childs.


• Playing time: No one in the history of the world has ever wanted additional playing time at Duke.


• David Sutcliffe: Sure he coached the Mannings, but he is also responsible for the last two years of Erik Ainge.

Besides, these reasons pale in comparison to the pros of attending Boise State.

• Winning: The Broncos average nearly a WAC title per Duke win.
  
• Practice reps: Learning from Kellen Moore is a lot more exciting than it sounds.
  
• David Augusto: Ever wanted to be on TV? Ever wanted someone to take you to Shakespeare in the park?
  

Renfree's decision appears short-sighted and misinformed, but instead of feeling sorry for the kid, we feel absolutely no remorse. He had his shot to be a part of something special at Boise State and he threw that opportunity away. When he picked Duke over Boise State (effectively saying "yes" to losing, low completion percentage, and pain, and saying "no" to success, appreciation, and a future), he made a decision that he will have to live with for the rest of his life.

The pain of playing quarterback at Duke is temporary.

The scorn of Boise State fans is forever.

Public Enemy #1: Kaepernick's case

OBNUG is in the process of deciding who should be this website's most hated villain. We'll be presenting the cases for all of the candidates over the next few weeks. Enjoy.

Colin Kaepernick

Contrary to popular belief, Colin Kaepernick does not draw our ire because of his fascinating, frustrating romp through the Boise State defense in last year’s epic Bronco-Wolfpack thriller.

He draws our ire for not doing the same to Hawaii.

Nevada had the Warriors on the ropes, taking leads in the third quarter and late into the fourth quarter. A Hawaii loss could have meant a shared WAC title for the Broncos, and all Kaepernick had to do was not be human. Instead, he turned in this pedestrian stat line:

Kaepernick 9-20, 134 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT; 11 carries, 23 yards

Where was the breakaway speed? Where were the elusive open-field moves? Whenever Kaepernick had a chance to make a play in the Hawaii game, he didn’t.

On the contrary, whenever he had a chance to make a play against the Broncos, he did. In fact, he made plays even when plays weren’t needing to be made. He made plays on top of plays, and his plays were plays that played the Bronco D in ways they’d never been played before. We remember; how could we forget?

Kaepernick 11-23, 243 yards, 3 TDs; 14 carries, 177 yards, 2 TDs

The Nevada sophomore seems to have a grudge against us, which is exactly why he is up for consideration for OBNUG’s Public Enemy #1. Sure, we enjoy pointing out his passing flaws and demeaning his achievements on the football field. But as far as we’re concerned, he started this feud with his impartial supernaturalness.

Public Enemy #1: Dan Hawkins' case

OBNUG is in the process of deciding who should be this website's most hated villain. We'll be presenting the cases for all of the candidates over the next few weeks. Enjoy.

Dan Hawkins

Dan Hawkins' crimes against Bronco Nation are almost too numerous to count. Nevertheless, we compiled a short list:

1. Lying
2. Breaking promises
3. Deceit
4. Being a Judas
5. Cody Hawkins
6. Poor coaching
7. Sunglasses

But perhaps the greatest crime that Dan Hawkins committed was his assault on our trust. When he left to coach the Colorado Buffaloes, he did so in a way that forever scarred how a BSU fan will look at the team. He left after promising he would stay. Who's to say the next coach won't do the same?

Bronco fans had seen it all before. Houston Nutt left for a bigger program; Dirk Koetter left for a bigger program. We shouldn't have expected any less from Hawkins based on the past history of Bronco coaches leaving for greener pastures. The difference was that Hawkins made us believe.

He was adamant about staying with BSU and continuing to build on its winning tradition. He suckered an entire fanbase into thinking that he would not bolt with the first chance he got. We thought he would be around forever, and we wanted him around forever.

That is why his departure hurt so bad. When he left for a better opportunity, he left behind people who honestly trusted him, and we still feel the repercussions of his deceit. For instance, we want to believe Chris Peterson's intentions to stay here, but a small part of us will always wonder if we are about to be taken for a ride. In a sense, we will never be able to look at a Boise State coach the same way again, and we have Dan Hawkins to thank for that.

OBNUG's Public Enemy #1

Everyone needs someone to hate. Bush Hamdan hates modern media. The University of Idaho hates success. Orlando Scandrick hates wearing shirts.

But what gets OBNUG's goat? Nothing, really. We are a pretty laid-back group of BSU bi-partisans. And we don't want to be. We want to have an enemy, someone we rip into on a daily basis. Sure, we poke fun at Utah State, but it's not the same. We have some serious angst and no one to direct it at.

Well, all that is about to change.

Over the next few weeks, we will be picking a villian for this website by profiling several loathsome individuals. Here are the candidates:

1. Dan Hawkins
2. Colin Kaepernick
3. Sean Renfree
4. Rob Akey
5. Mike Prater

Let the search for OBNUG's Public Enemy #1 begin!