As if the sordid world of college football recruiting isn't cutthroat enough, technology has kciked the yearlong beefcake auction into high gear. Coaches have turned to webcams to aid their recruiting, as if monetary gifts, hot coeds, self-doing homework, and hero worship weren't an easy enough sell.
(Webcams) are without a doubt the wave of the future in long-distance communicating with high school players. (Alabam's Nick) Saban and Southeastern Conference rivals Les Miles of LSU and Phillip Fulmer of Tennessee are using the Internet tool. Others among several dozen schoolsThe technology is catching on across the nation, especially with uncouth former NFL coaches.
contacted by The Associated Press are considering or have considered it.
Saban said he speaks to “four or five” recruits a day on the Web when he’s in the office.
If webcams are the present, then what is the future? With technology only increasing over the next few years, the prospects of long-distance communication have never looked so good.
- Star Trek transportation. NCAA rules may prohibit traveling to visit recruits, but they certainly do not say anything about teleporting to visit recruits. How else do you think Captain Kirk convinced Spock to join the S.S. Enterprise? It certainly wasn't a pre-owned Vulcan two-door sedan.
- Subliminal television messages. The mass media of TV is a great tool for reaching high school prospects, and the art of subliminal messaging could have a five-star player pining after Winnemucca U for reasons they do not entirely understand. The way it works is simple: during the popular ABC Family series Greek, Joe Coach will set up unique banners and ads to display in the background of certain scenes. Also, inserted between cuts from one character to the next would be brief messages intended on convincing college athletes to come to Joe Coach's university. Some call this College Football Live on ESPN.
- ESP. Banning text messaging, phone calls, and other communication has made life tough on college coaches. But The Man can't keep down brainwaves! Selling a recruit on a school would be as easy as thinking (note: not that easy for all college coaches). The home visit would be replaced by cross-country brain feed. The recruiting calls would give way to recruiting thought missives. Headaches aside, it would be pretty great.
- Cloning. The job of a college coach is often too much for one man. That is why God invented cloning. The only thing better than one Chris Petersen would be two or three Chris Petersens--one to do the coaching, one to do the recruiting, and a third, miniature one to appear at charity events and children's birthday parties. Regulate that, NCAA!