Life Coach: Airport Cheering 101

The Life Coach believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid Vandal fans who ask questions. His purpose is to shepherd Bronco Nation to the calm waters of illumination, guiding them through their perfunctory problems with grace, flair, and competent advice. Got a question for the Life Coach? Email him at OneBroncoNationUnderGod@gmail.com.

Dear Life Coach,
I recently was in another airport and saw another traveler wearing a Boise State shirt. I suddenly had an uncontrollable urge to shout "Boise!" and he responded with "State!" Is this acceptable?
Annoying in Arco

No. A thousand times no. Please do not do this. If you do this, mature Boise State fans will slowly shake their heads, look down to the ground, and sigh. Here’s why.

I lived in Ohio for a year once. In Ohio, one person will yell “O-H!” and another person will yell “I-O!”. It’s fun. It’s unique. It’s been around forever. That’s why it works. But it does NOT work for us to do our "Boise...State!" cheer. First, it’s not fun to do it with just two people (especially if the guy on the back end is a little quiet because then it's just a dude in an airport yelling “BOISE!” and that’s a little odd). Second, it’s not unique at all. Every team has a back and forth cheer like that. And third, we’ve only been doing it so habitually for, like, 10 years – ever since we’ve been good. So please, please, don’t do this.

But there is something all to our own that is kind of cool that you can yell in an airport at another Boise State fan. By yelling this, you will see if this person really is a fan or not, and it will be a special moment between the two of you where you will both laugh and high-five each other. Just yell out, “And that’s another Boise State…” And if he or she is a true fan, they will yell back “FIRST DOWN!”

Life Coach,
How many Idaho Vandals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Seriously, because I have four here right now and that isn't enough.
Handy in Hailey

It actually takes 17 Vandals to screw in a light bulb. Why? Because 16 isn’t enough, and 18 is too much.

It doesn’t have to make sense. We hate you, Vandals. Get better so we can have a rivalry again.

Mr. Life Coach,
Are Utah State fans worth jeering or are we just wasting our breath?
Sincerely, OBNUG

Well, let me say this. The name “Aggies” is actually short for “Agriculturalists." Now, don’t get me wrong; I support our agriculture as much as the next guy. But I just don’t think we need to waste our breath jeering the Utah State Agriculturalists. Not worth our time.

But we could do something new and exciting. I would encourage all fans instead of jeering to simply pity the other team. Simple and genuine pity. Instead of giving them the effort of our jeers, we could just feel bad for the Agriculturalists and their relative obscurity (ed's note: this works well with those New Mexico State Agriculturalists, too). Gentle pats on the back. Small encouragements for them to “keep trying, guys!” This will infuriate them. Agriculturalists hate pity.

Friday: Links with education

Story of the day:

Boise State recruiting adds two more [CSTV.com]

Yesterday's big news of getting a commitment from California QB Joe Southwick was just what we needed during this long summer. And now this!

Quarterback Joe Southwick of Danville-San Ramon Valley, Cal., who passed for 3185 yards and 35 touchdowns as a junior; defensive back Quaylon Ewing of Sugar Land-Kempner, Tex; and defensive back/receiver Ebenezer Makinde of Phoenix-Paradise Valley, Ariz., have committed to Boise State.

Looks like the Broncos have added two defensive backs to their 2009 recruiting class. This year's incoming class was short on both positions, so it is nice to see that the coaches have made it a point of emphasis to build up those areas of the team. And it is nice to have something fresh to talk about in late May.

Other links:

Southwick stories: Press-Tribune, Idaho Statesman, and Contra Costa Times.

More from Dave Southorn's interview with Southwick [Dave's Blog]
Good to know the Fiesta Bowl got Southwick's attention.

Boise State cracks Top 25 in random guy's poll [Domer Law]
But we don't really give too much credence to any poll that contains Notre Dame.

Fresno State adds Colorado to future schedule [Daily Camera]
Pat Hill will have to wait until 2011 to lose to Dan Hawkins again.

MAC looking to steal Sun Belt teams [AOL Fanhouse]
Please, take Idaho! Please!