Tonight is the two-hour season finale of LOST. Schedule your life accordingly.
We can't wait to see what happens to Jack and the gang, and we hope the finale involves good doses of smoke monster, time travel, Kate, extreme close-ups, and Boone flashbacks. But while we were pining for our LOST fix, we got to thinking: what might things look like if the island was the WAC and the castaways were WAC teams?
Without further ado, here the WAC's version of LOST.
Jack = Boise State
Jack: in control of the island, has desirable leadership qualities, looks good on TV
Boise State: in control of the WAC, has desirable WAC championships, looks good on TV
Locke = Fresno State
Locke: never quite as good as Jack, full of secrets and supernatural hope, crippled for years by a fall from an eight-story window, surly
Fresno State: never quite as good as Boise State, full of hype and false hope, crippled for years by Paul Pinegar, haughty
Sawyer = Hawaii
Sawyer: had a good run there for awhile, scored Kate, pretty popular with the ladies, last seen holding a baby
Hawaii: had a good run there for awhile, scored twice in the Sugar Bowl, pretty popular with the locals, last seen holding Greg McMackin
Kate = LaTech
Kate: can give Jack some trouble, wanted for a crime, can't get over her boy problems, a tease
LaTech: can give Boise State some trouble, wants a consistent offense, can't get over Tim Rattay, a turnover
Sayid = Nevada
Nevada: thick-headed, from Reno, could possibly threaten Boise State's dominance, knows how to use a pistol
Sun = San Jose State
Sun: you sometimes forget she's on the show, lets her husband fight her battles, in utero
San Jose State: you sometimes forget they're in the WAC, lets the offense lose its battles, inconsistent
Hurley = New Mexico State
Hurley: harmless, good for comic relief every now and then, no one takes him seriously, rich in another life
New Mexico State: harmless, good for comic relief every now and then, no one takes them seriously, above .500 in another life
Claire = Utah State
Claire: a girl, gave birth to a possibly demonic boy, dated a rockstar, soon to be dead if not already
Utah State: a cupcake, gave birth to the 56-point loss, had a QB who punted, soon to be 0-1 if not already
Michael: not a very likable person, his neck has a beard, he wanted to leave the island, killed some people
Idaho: not a very likable team, their coach has a mustache, we want them to leave the WAC, killed a rivalry
Let us know how what you think by sending us an email or leaving a comment. Who do you think Desmond should be? What about the Others? Do we place entirely too much value in television?
BONUS analogy: more of Jack as Boise State
...appendix is Jeremy Childs: both have been removed.
...facial hair is Doug Martin: both are tough and grisly.
...bedside manner is freshman linemen: both could use some work.
...medical skills is Coach Pete: both operate with surgical precision.
...alcoholism is the shotgun formation: both will lead to downfall.