Thursday, April 24, 2008

Fresno gets way too excited for spring game


Being the prohibitive WAC favorite and a potential preseason Top 25 team has Fresno State pretty geeked up, and nobody celebrates April hype better than the Bulldogs. Observe:

Whoever was running the spring game festival pulled out all the stops.

Someone handed coach Pat Hill a microphone -- and he promptly started hawking season tickets.

Buy them now, he said. Don't want you to be left out in the cold come game day.

Organizers rolled out the clothing racks and the BBQ equipment and the T-shirt gun.

They enlisted the services of cheerleaders and the student band, which ripped off fight songs as though it were September and the big bad Badgers were in town.

Granted, we are a little jealous about the T-shirt gun.

I went to a game and a circus broke out [Merced Sun-Star]

Boise State's NFL Draft scouting report

To help NFL teams with their drafting needs, we have provided the following scouting reports for Boise State players who might hear their names called in this weekend's NFL Draft. Granted, we are not professional scouts, so our opinions might not carry much credence or value. Also hurting our cause? Intense non-objectivity. Oh well. Here goes nothing!

Ryan Clady
Clady has the potential to be a star at the next level. He can dominate an opponent in a number of different ways: with power, with technique, with Jedi mind tricks. WAC competition did him a disservice because flipping Utah State pancakes is a lot harder than mauling BCS competition.

Clady could stand to add some girth and muscle, but he will always have his quickness and athleticism. The NFL is the perfect place for a prospect like Clady, and he should only get better year after year.

Orlando Scandrick

O.S. is fast, aggressive, and confident—attributes that make him an ideal NFL cornerback. He is a younger, saner version of DeAngelo Hall, and he will be an asset in coverage and in run support.

As a safety, Scandrick showed range and toughness, but his greatest Boise State season came last year at cornerback. Scandrick’s steady improvement hints at untapped potential, and provided he can overcome cockiness, riskiness, and shirtlessness, he should make a solid pro.

Marty Tadman

All personal biases aside, Tadman is the greatest football player we have ever seen. We’re not sure if this is because we have attended mostly Seattle Seahawks and 2A high school football games or if Tadman is, in fact, God’s gift to secondaries. We’re going with the latter.

Tadman has the intangible qualities that scouting combines and drills can’t measure. He is football smart, like Stephen Hawking is math smart. His ability to always be in the right place at the right time is invaluable, and he is rarely caught out of position.

Weaknesses? Is being too perfect a weakness?

Dan Gore

Gore may become the second BSU lineman to go in the draft thanks to his room to grow both physically and technically. At well over six feet tall, Gore definitely has the height, and a solid NFL weight training program could bulk him up to pro playing weight. Plus, having played defensive line for years, Gore’s O-line prospects are much more limitless than most people realize.

Also, his last name is a type of torture. That can’t hurt his chances.

Tad Miller

NFL teams would be wise to give Miller a long, hard look. He is a powerful, sound blocker who has proven to be a winner over his years on the Bronco O-line. Also, he regularly checks his GMail account and responds to pretty much any interview request (notably, ours).

Nick Schlekeway

An excellent pass rusher is a valued commodity in today’s NFL, and Schlekeway would certainly revitalize a team’s pass rush. During his BSU days, he showed great speed and power off the edge, and he had the ability to make an impact in a game. Bigger and stronger defensive ends may be available on draft day, but there will be no player who matches the amount of consecutive consonants in Schlekeway’s last name.

Jeff Cavender

A key member of the Broncos line over the past few years, Cavender has made his mark as a jack of all trades. He can seamlessly switch between different offensive line positions, playing everything from guard and tackle to center and giant tight end. His maneuverability masks a remarkable talent for always being in the right position with his excellent technique and footwork.

Of course, we could be talking about Pete Cavender right now and not know it.

Taylor Tharp

If third-string quarterbacks were valued as highly as franchise left tackles, Tharp would be a Top Ten pick. He proved at Boise State that the spotlight is a little much for him, but mop-up duty against third-teamers couldn’t be more up his alley.

He put up great numbers with the Broncos with his quick decision-making, knowledge of the offense, and accurate arm. His sideline tosses lacked urgency, but his deep balls always had enough behind them.

As a bonus, Tharp would make best friends with the kickers.

The Life Coach: Ian Johnson=chick magnet


The Life Coach believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid Vandal fans who ask questions. His purpose is to shepherd Bronco Nation to the calm waters of illumination, guiding them through their perfunctory problems with grace, flair, and competent advice. Got a question for the Life Coach? Email him at OneBroncoNationUnderGod@gmail.com.

Dear Life Coach,
I am a girl who loves Boise State football but does not love Ian Johnson. Do I exist?
Confused in Caldwell

No, you don’t. Ian Johnson is the equivalent of Justin Timberlake for N’SYNC. No fourteen-year-old girl watched N’SYNC for Joey or Billy or whoever the other guys were. They watched N’SYNC for Justin. Just like every girl who is a BSU fan watches Boise State football because of Ian Johnson. There is nothing else there to attract them.

You think there are tweeners who just love the beat and feel of N’SYNC’s music? No way. You think there are girls out there who love BSU football for its offensive ingenuity and ability to get big third down stops? No way.

Nearly every girl who watches BSU simply watches because they are hoping that Ian Johnson somehow dumps his wife and asks them to marry him on national TV. Or because they like the blue turf.

Life Coach,
What is an appropriate response to seeing Marty Tadman in the Boise Towne Square Mall Pro Image? I hope you will say "shriek like a little girl, have him sign your undershirt, ask him to be the godparent of your as-yet-to-be-born child and steal a sample of his hair while he's not looking...you know, for cloning purposes." I ask out of curiosity, not out of past incidence.
Creepy in Coeur d'Alene

Just as Marty Tadman is a very unique individual, there is not one response that is uniquely appropriate when seeing Marty in a Pro Image at the mall. Varied responses are acceptable, BUT there is a basic framework that you should try to stay within.

Only scream or gasp once – preferably upon initial realization or contact. Prolonged shrieks and gasps are unsightly and unacceptable.

You may notice his tattoos, but under no circumstances are you to touch them or ask him to show you every tattoo that he has. I mean, he knows they're awesome. That’s why he got them.

Don’t do anything you would regret if your grandmother was watching.

Don’t do anything that would normally require a lawyer (i.e. giving him your kidney, becoming a legalized guardian, stealing his hat, etc.)

Finally, upon departure, do not give him lingering looks through the display window. Marty hates this. It creeps him out. Just be a man and walk away. Walk away.

Mr. Life Coach,
Where does the line for the Kellen Moore bandwagon start?
Jeff Caves in Boise

Start? Where does it end? That’s the question.

There are so many people already a part of this lefty’s fan base that he might be able to form a legitimate mutiny if he doesn’t start. His boyish features and unique style soften the heart of the elderly and inspire those of the younger generation. The Kellen Moore bandwagon is currently a tricked out Honda Element, and there is a long line to get into that compact SUV.

So, my friend, the question is not where does it start. The question is: Where does it end? Because you need to get in line.

Clady to the Jets in fake Emmitt Smith mock draft


Our favorite mock draft this year has been the satirical Emmitt Smith mock by the guys at WalterFootball.com. They have masterfully captured Emmitt's idiosyncrasies and turned it into a fascinating story. In addition to having Matt Ryan going No. 1 to the Dolphins, the Emmitt mock draft also has the Chiefs taking Tim Tebow at No. 5. Hilarious.

Here is an excerpt from the Ryan Clady entry:

#6. New York Jets: Ryan Clandy, OT, Boise State

The New York Jet need help really bad. And that is a big misunderstatement. After all, the Jets can only be disrespected by every team in their league and in the AFC East. In their conference, they have the New England Patriots, who are good. They have the Buffalo Bills, who obviously gone 11-5 in 2007 last year. They have the Indianapolis Colts who won the World Series in 2005. And they have the Miami Dolphin, who just hired Parcells to be their coach. So the New York Jets have their back against the fence.
Clandy should be able to help out the Jets tremendously.

Emmitt Smith's 2008 Mock Draft [WalterFootball.com]