Thursday, June 12, 2008

Life Coach: Winco sightings and family visits

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The Life Coach believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid Vandal fans who ask questions. His purpose is to shepherd Bronco Nation to the calm waters of illumination, guiding them through their perfunctory problems with grace, flair, and competent advice. Got a question for the Life Coach? Email him at OneBroncoNationUnderGod@gmail.com.

Dear Life Coach,
Which is more awesome: seeing Titus Young at WinCo or seeing my family at Thanksgiving?
Starstruck in Star


I would say that it would be seeing Titus Young at WinCo. My man Titus is from Los Angeles. I am not sure if he is from the Hollywood part of L.A. or from the other parts, but I am going to doubt that he has ever seen a WinCo before. So I think that it is probably as exciting for him as it is for you.

But it all depends on the time. I mean, if it is 3:30 in the afternoon and you see him shopping in WinCo for some dorm food – that's one thing. I might actually rather see my family at Thanksgiving than see that. But if it is like 3:30 in the morning the night after a game and you see him limping into WinCo because he is having a post-game craving of Doritos – that is something altogether different. I would gladly spend Thanksgiving cold and alone if I could see that.

Especially if Zabransky or K.C. Adams was in the car waiting for him.

Quick question, Life Coach,
Where does the BCS rank on the spectrum of tyrannical crimes against humanity? Before apartheid or after?
Insensitive in Idaho City

For the record, I do not ever want to put the BCS ranking being ANYWHERE NEAR apartheid or any other crimes against humanity. As Americans, we need to figure out how to separate sports from reality. During Apartheid people were brutally marginalized, unfairly imprisoned, and sometimes killed – and this took place over decades. During BCS, ummm, we sometimes don't get a clear cut college football champion.

So...

Next question please.

Hey, Life Coach,
I recently read on OBNUG that Boise State is getting 100-to-1 odds to win the national title. Should I jump on that?
Sincerely, Charles Barkley

Charles, if you jumped on the Boise State bandwagon, you would smoosh it. Because you are so big! (hahhahahahahaha, hehehheee…)

All joking aside, Charles, you should definitely wager as much money as you can on the Broncos. Even though I can guarantee that you do not know where to locate Boise on a map, you should just trust us. Trust us. Trust the WAC. Trust your gambling instincts. Look where they have gotten you so far.

Also, Charles, you should call your friend D-Wade and have him bet BSU, too… and then you should make a commercial out of it.

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