OBNUG Roundtable: Public Enemy #1

Public Enemy #1 has been a raging, ribald debate at OBNUG. The distinction of being the most hated villain for our website is not to be taken lightly, which has made the decision all the more difficult. Whoever wins will receive our scorn for the next 365 days, so we want to get it right.

Recently, a few of OBNUG's finest discussed the candidacy of our Public Enemy nominees. Here is that conversation:

kevanlee: Dan Hawkins, Sean Renfree, Colin Kaepernick, Robb Akey, Mike Prater, and Hal Mumme. Just seeing this list makes me rather upset. As a Boise State fan, these six people are some of the most despicable I have ever seen. A liar, a loser, a fink, a slanderer, a traitor, and a blowhard. What a group.

Picking just one will be a hard task, but at least we can't go wrong with any of these guys. The interesting thing is that each one of these candidates stands as a different burr to Bronco Nation. Some are threatening and some are annoying.

I'm leaning toward Kaepernick, Akey, and Hawkins. Kaepernick has the potential to absolutely ruin the lives of BSU fans this season, and he seems to have a hidden agenda to take down the Broncos. Akey is Idaho's coach, and he grows more and more intolerable every day. And I have a personal vendetta against "Hawk" for the way he left BSU.

Which crime is worse? Being a life-ruiner, being a cad, or being a Judas?

Nick: It's really too bad we are having this discussion this year instead of last. I mean, Kaepernick, Mumme, and Akey really all pale in comparison to the douchebaggery last year in Hawaii's duo of June Jones and Colt Brennan. For those reasons alone, I'm probably leaning against those three.

I'm also leaning against Hawkins. It's been two full seasons since he left, and although he did so in the lowest of fashions, some of Boise State's greatest moments have happened since then. If he were in the same conference or even succeeding at Colorado, I might find more contempt in my heart for him. Unfortunately, I just don't care enough.

By process of elimination, that leaves Renfree and Prater. I think it's a little premature to vote for Renfree. He hasn't even had a chance to not live up to his potential at Duke.

So that leaves Mr. Prater. The fact that he hired Brian Murphy is more than enough reason for me to dislike the guy. Fortunately, there are many more including the aforementioned debacle that he is on the radio along with his Vandal blood. Could KTIK get a less charismatic personality on the mic? I'd rather listen to a confused Paul J any day over the apathetic and uninspiring Prater.

Kenton Arthur Lee: I think that Dan Hawkins could still be Public Enemy #1, and here's why:

1) He's kind of a freak compared to Peterson. There is a huge contrast there.

2)I don't really like his kid, either. And I hope his kid doesn't succeed down there. He could have been awesome at BSU and then we wouldn't be having this quarterback controversy right now.

3) Not everybody knows the names of people on that list, but every BSU fan remembers Hawkins. I think more people identify with not liking Hawkins.

kevanlee: Maybe we would have been better off nominating the entire Hawkins family.

I agree, Nick. Robb Akey and Colin Kaepernick are very similar to WAC nemeses like June Jones and Colt Brennan. It seems like we will always have someone to hate in our conference, and that is the way it should be. That said, should they be considered less since they are merely iterations of past enemies? I don't think so.

Now to Hawkins and Prater. Hawkins has an interesting case because he has been out of the public scorn of Bronco Nation for a few years now, yet we all seem to still have a total distaste for the guy. That should count for something. Prater's offenses are evident, and he has the opportunity and power to seriously affect how Bronco fans get their news. The main reason I hesitate to support Prater's case is because his indiscretions are harder to quantify. That, and I can't find any good pictures of him.

Sounds like Renfree and Mumme are safe. Let's give Kaepernick a pass on this year's P.E.#1 since he will still be around to hate for a couple more season. That leaves Akey, Prater, and Hawkins.

Nick: In response to Akey, Kaepernick, and Mumme, it's not that they are past iterations of past enemies. It's that they pale in comparison to past iterations. Can you really take Akey seriously with a mustache like that? I feel like we would be giving too much credit to Kaepernick when he's really not done anything else. It's hard for me to hate Mumme too much when I get so much joy from watching him prance around on the sideline imitating a drunk Gary Busey.

I would not be opposed to Prater or Hawkins. I definitely had more hatred in my heart seeing Cody run around in Colorado's backfield and thinking about how he reneged on his verbal commitment to follow Daddy to a guaranteed starting job leaving us into this never-ending cycle of trying to find a starting quarterback. I might be able to get behind that.

kevanlee: Hawkins or Prater, huh? The ghosts of our past or the bane of our present? The case for Hawkins is so completely different than the case for Prater that it is hard to even compare the two. On the one hand, you have a former coach who spurned a loving fanbase. On the other hand, you have a local media personality who roots for the local team's rival. Both are terrible people, but in different ways.

Who will it be? We might need to sleep on this one for a day or two. Keep your fingers crossed, Hawkins and Prater. We'll have our answer on Wednesday.

Public Enemy #1: The recap

Over the past few weeks, OBNUG has been on a journey of contempt in search of this website's most hated villain. We narrowed the nominees down to six scoundrels, each of whom would make a perfect nemesis.

Now things get serious.

Next week, we will crown OBNUG's Public Enemy #1, and we would like your help. Please let us know who you think should be the McShay to our Kiper by either leaving us a comment or shooting us an email at OneBroncoNationUnderGod@gmail.com. Help us decide because we really can't be trusted with big decisions.

Here are the candidates:

Dan Hawkins: a backstabbing phony
"The greatest crime that Dan Hawkins committed was his assault on our trust. When he left to coach the Colorado Buffaloes, he did so in a way that forever scarred how a BSU fan will look at the team."

Colin Kaepernick: a skinny-legged Bronco killer
"Sure, we enjoy pointing out his passing flaws and demeaning his achievements on the football field. But as far as we’re concerned, he started this feud with his impartial supernaturalness."

Sean Renfree: an uninformed 18-year-old
"His spurning of the Broncos, in particular, really gets our goat, especially considering his rationale. Renfree based his decision on Duke's impressive academic record, the promise of playing time, and the experience of new head coach David Sutcliffe. We liken this to choosing a Quarter Pounder based on taste, texture, and presentation."

Robb Akey: a jerk with a mustache
"There are plenty of things to dislike about the man: his attitude, his smugness, the fact that his first name has more "b"'s than the Vandals have wins. But when it comes right down to it, Akey is reviled by OBNUG because of that larger-than-life caterpillar taking residence under his nose."

Mike Prater: a belligerent Vandal homer
"He knows full well that defending the Vandals is a crime against Bronco Nation, and his doing so in the city of Boise only magnifies his betrayal."

Hal Mumme: a self-promoting underachiever
"Couple Mumme's lameness with an undeserved air of importance that his towel-toting exudes and, well, you have made a case for Public Enemy #1."

Public Enemy #1: Sean Renfree's case

OBNUG is in the process of deciding who should be this website's most hated villain. We'll be presenting the cases for all of the candidates over the next few weeks. Enjoy.

Sean Renfree

The Duke Blue Devils have won four games over the past four years.

For some reason, Sean Renfree wanted to be a part of that.

The decorated Arizona prep quarterback chose the Blue Devils over a number of other college football teams, including Boise State. His spurning of the Broncos, in particular, really gets our goat, especially considering his rationale. Renfree based his decision on Duke's impressive academic record, the promise of playing time, and the experience of new head coach David Sutcliffe. We liken this to choosing a Quarter Pounder based on taste, texture, and presentation.

• Academics: People do your papers for you when you're a college football star. Just ask Jeremy Childs.


• Playing time: No one in the history of the world has ever wanted additional playing time at Duke.


• David Sutcliffe: Sure he coached the Mannings, but he is also responsible for the last two years of Erik Ainge.

Besides, these reasons pale in comparison to the pros of attending Boise State.

• Winning: The Broncos average nearly a WAC title per Duke win.
  
• Practice reps: Learning from Kellen Moore is a lot more exciting than it sounds.
  
• David Augusto: Ever wanted to be on TV? Ever wanted someone to take you to Shakespeare in the park?
  

Renfree's decision appears short-sighted and misinformed, but instead of feeling sorry for the kid, we feel absolutely no remorse. He had his shot to be a part of something special at Boise State and he threw that opportunity away. When he picked Duke over Boise State (effectively saying "yes" to losing, low completion percentage, and pain, and saying "no" to success, appreciation, and a future), he made a decision that he will have to live with for the rest of his life.

The pain of playing quarterback at Duke is temporary.

The scorn of Boise State fans is forever.

Scheduling wish list

When Boise State's schedule came out last week, we immediately thought that the Broncos were going undefeated. This is the same thought we have every offseason, and we usually continue having this thought until a road game at a BCS school.

The 2008 schedule seems to set up particularly nice for us with home games against Hawaii and Fresno, two games before our trip to Oregon, and creative scheduling early in the season. We like it.

But we feel that 2009 could be so much better.

Idaho State, Bowling Green, and Southern Miss do not get us excited. We want some new competition next season. Here is our wish list for Boise State football 2009.

• Duke: We want Sean Renfree to know what he is missing: success, tradition, and blocking.
• Washington: We could have easily beaten the Huskies last year, and we want another shot. This time, we will leave Taylor Tharp at home.
• USC: If Idaho can lose to them, then we should be able to lose by a lot less.
• Colorado: We want Dan Hawkins' to pay in eternity for his crimes against us, but we will settle for beating the Buffaloes by double digits.
• The All-MAC team: Everyone is always saying that the WAC is a weak conference. Well, suit up the best players in the MAC and ship them out to Boise and we'll see about that.
• The Chicago Bears: No one cuts Brock Forsey and gets away with it.
• The Winnipeg Blue Bombers: Playing against Ryan Dinwiddie might make our heads explode. We want to find out.
• The Boise Burn: Just to make sure that the Broncos are the best team in Idaho.

4.32 seconds of awesome

Orlando Scandrick made quite a name for himself yesterday at the NFL Combine. By posting the fourth fastest time out of everyone, the former Boise State cornerback should see his stock rise in the April draft. In the meantime, his blazing spring got us thinking: how fast exactly is 4.32 seconds?

Well, we did some research and compiled the following list of things that can happen in 4.32 seconds.

• The University of Idaho can fall behind by two touchdowns
• Dan Hawkins can change his mind about wanting to coach at BSU
• Sean Renfree can make the worst decision of his life
• Paul J. Schneider can misidentify three Boise State football players and one coach
• Taylor Tharp can run 15 yards
• The Aiona Key era can begin and end
• Gene Bleymaier can schedule a I-AA opponent

WIR: Boise State football with love

Week in Review (WIR) is very glad the writer's strike is over because watching Deal or No Deal was starting to get pretty old pretty fast.

Dave Tester's mugshot from hell.
Kudos to the Statesman.
Scandrick going to the combine.
We couldn't be more over Sean Renfree.
Grading WAC recruiting classes.
Southern Miss still on the schedule.
Marty Tadman forever.
Hawaii's rings of power.
Vote, vote, vote.

See you all next week.

An open letter to Sean Renfree

Dear Sean,

You are dead to us. We hope you throw 50 interceptions and get replaced midseason by a converted wide receiver.

Sincerely,
OBNUG team

Photo courtesy azcentral.com.

Bold predictions for the coming week

Happy Valentine’s week, Bronco fans. You significant others here at OBNUG are still sorting through an exciting LOI day, so we’ll have lots of good info for you this week. Here’s what else we think will be happening:

• Fresno State and Boise State, seeing the less-than-stellar recruiting classes of fellow WAC members, will secede from the conference and form the Super WAC. The BCS will fail to recognize it as a major conference.
• With so many talented linebackers on the team, Bronco coaches will switch to a 1-5 defense, becoming the first team to deploy only one defensive lineman on a majority of defensive snaps. That defensive lineman will be Ryan Winterswyk in a fat suit.
• Sean Renfree will arrive at Duke and, like Ron Burgundy in the bear pit, immediately regret his decision.